The three creation stories change alot over time. The first story took place in 1650 in New York. The second story took place in 1720 in Canada and western New York. The last story took place in 1935 by lake superior on the great palins. Women, men, and animals have a big part in the changes in these stories.
The first story took place in 1650 in New York. A godess decended from heaven into the water and didnt go underneath it. As she went into the water some land appered under her. As she sat there vegetation grew around her as it appears today. This women brought three different creatures and every creature that came after that had some description of the three origional animals. Once every species was at the state of perfection the godess went back up to heaven and watched over everything.
The second story took place in 1720 in Canada and Western New York. When the first creatures died the great hare caused the birth of man from their courpses. The first men of the human race were scattered in all different parts of the land. The men did all the fishing and hunting and building and the women did the cooking and making the clothes and the shoes. Thats how they lived their lives.
The third story took place in 1935 by lake superior on the great palins. There was a world before this world but the creator didn't like it so he poured water over the land and washed everything away. he made a new world with new creatures out of his bag.
Women, men, and animals have a big part in the changes in these stories. In the first story women created the world, int he second story women did all the cooking and making things, and in the third story women didn't even come up. In the first story men were created by women, in the second story men did all the hunting and building, and in the third story men didn't exist. Finally in the first story animals were created by women, in the second story animals were used for food, and in the last story animals created the world. According to different pepople differnt things happened when the world was being created it just all depends on which one you believe.
One strength in your post is that you provide lots of concrete information from the stories. That way a person who did not read the stories will get a good hand on the information from your post. One suggestion is that you do not need three sentences telling the date and place of each story in you introduction, because you state that in the beginning of each of the preceding paragraphs. You could instead fill up your introduction discussing more points you will be sharing in your post. Also you have a couple of grammar mistakes. There is one in your second, fourth and last paragraph. Also your fourth paragraph is way to short. Three sentences is not a full paragraph. Maybe you could discuss how the creator created the world. Adding this information could make the paragraph more complete.
Posted by: Jacqueline Hollinger | September 28, 2004 at 10:30 AM
Overall your blog was great. I liked how you talked about every story you read in great details. Your thesis was very well put because the thesis explained everything that you were going to talk about in your post. My suggestion, is to add the tribes name because if you don't the reader will feel confuse in what you are talking about. Another suggestion, is that your conclusion is very big. You should just get to the point and tell your reader what you want them to remember. Your introduction needs more detail in what your talking about because it only stated dates. You just need more information.
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Posted by: marie | October 25, 2004 at 05:58 AM
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Posted by: Heel | October 04, 2007 at 03:18 AM