Group #4

« #7 The Civil War in Florida | Main | #9 Comment Post »

November 02, 2004

Comments

Dan Cianciolo

The pictures in the album were crisp and easily viewable and they added to the story line of the album very well. The first thing that caught my attention was the spelling mistakes in the introduction. The words “remains”, “organize”, and “vulnerable” are misspelled and they detract from the reading of the album. Also in the second picture, the paragraph seems choppy and is a little unclear. The sentences read: “Taken in February 1861 of Columbiad guns of the Confederate water battery at Warrington, Florida. The men in the look like they are getting ready for war. They are loading their cannons and cleaning up everything around them.” The paragraph would flow better if it were written as follows: Taken in February of 1861, this picture shows the Columbian guns of the Confederate Army water battery at Warrington, Florida. The men in the photograph look like they are preparing for war by loading their guns and cleaning up around them. By writing the paragraph like this, the point is more easily understood and is clearer. Furthermore, in the fourth picture of the letter, there is not much substance in the writing. The paragraph is just restating what the letter has written on it. There is no explanation of the letter or any specific point addressed about the letter. Further explanation of it would have been beneficial to better understand the reason of why it was included. Maybe a little background story of the letter would have been good to have added in. Overall, I liked the idea of the album and the pictures that were used to explain the Civil War in Florida. With these corrections, the album would be very good.

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